New Year and New in sooo many ways!

I don't even know how long ago it is since I wrote here last time. Blogging again is something I have thought about doing for a while. My life has changed drastically to the WAY BETTER in the past year or so. The relationship I was in when I started blogging I am no longer in. It came to an abrupt halt almost 1 1/2 year ago. As many other women before me and many women after me has and will, I experienced infidelity. I was "done" with the relationship and my emotions when it came to an abrupt halt was as much relief, being scared, happy, shocked as just filled with new in every cell of my body. I could not believe there was really a way out. I had not suffered that much. I had a good life but was spending it with someone who did not want to spend it with me and therefore I really did not want to spend it with him. Since that day I have started a relationship with a man I used to know back in 1983! We were boyfriend/ girlfriend for about 1 1/2 year. In 1983 I moved in to his apartment and I have always thought of L as a great guy! The biggest reason we broke up back then was that I wanted more adventure, I think. I am not telling the story of us right now, that is a different chapter.
There has obviously been ups and downs since I started my new life. In the beginning my girls for example were just on board with what ever I wanted to do. After a while this changed to them making me feel I was selfish. I was thorn...I am still thorn sometimes. It is hard to know what is the right thing to do or how is the right way to be.
I am trying every day to be the person I can stand up for and say Yes, I am accountable for my actions and for what I am saying! This blog is good for that reason as well. It's hard not to be accountable for your words when they are written here.

Moving to the suburb!

No, probably not! But this weekend I went for a visit and ended up checking out the most amazing grocery store. I walked in and there was a bread isle you would not believe, the fresh pasta section was endless, the COLD CUTS was nuts, they even had casing for making your own sausage. Right beside the casings was a huge overfilled fridge with whole ham legs. Like a raw prosciutto, you know! Does people take dry their own, I wonder?? THe store was even laid out in a way that did not annoy me! I am easily annoyed in grocery stores, just saying'! Back in 1997 when my second daughter was born and I had to bring a toddler (my oldest daughter) with me to buy groceries and diapers I realized that they had strategically placed diapers opposite the candy! I found the manager and complained! Anyway, the store in the suburb, this weekend was not like that! They wanted their customers to make good choices! They made it easier for the consumer to eat well! That is how it should be! The extra fluff, like clothes, home stuff and flowers was at the other end of the store and really easy to avoid. In my local grocery store I have to go through all the fluffy stuff to come to the heart of the store that has what I came for! I hope you know the #1 rule to grocery shopping!! NEVER BRING YOUR CART DOWN THE AISLE!! You will buy so mach more junk! If you just walk down the aisle you will only buy as much as you can carry! Please leave me your grocery store tips! Had to rant a bit! Have an amazing Day! Will also include some pictures from the store. Plus one of the best tasting chickens I have ever made! Lots of figs, garlic, cinnamon, celery, some cinnamon and cumin plus salt and pepper of course! A bit of red onion and some water! In the oven at 325*F for app 90 min or until thermometer shows 80*F! YUMMY!

Swedish food on a cold Saturday morning

It's fun to wake up on a Saturday morning to find this article! I love to spread my love of the Swedish way of eating! Which is really "my way of eating". Not always but it's definitely the fundamentals of my way of eating! Enjoy the article and stay warm! http://www.tryswedish.com/eat-like-a-swede/

Happy New Year, People! It's 2014! Crazzyyy! We had a very quiet New years eve! The family wasn't even all together! Not for any other reason that when you have a teen ager who REALLY wants to be with friends in the city and you have 2 other girls that are ski racing and needs to train- you split up and make them happy! Today was one of those wonderful days when I got lots done. Well, not that much but enough exercise, a nice visit with friends, dinner with 2 out of 3 daughters and felt pretty good about M. Here are some pictures from this marvellous day! Snowshoeing is almost as fulfilling as cross-country skiing. Check out these winter wonderland pictures! It was cold, -20*C or something! Now I am back in Toronto again and only few more days of vacation. Realized that I have not taken enough pictures this holiday! New Years resolution? I don't know? Laugh more, Anne said! Sounds like a good one! I'll go with that! Bye for now.

Nice visit from old friends..

Today is the 28th day of December- 2013 is almost over. Can't believe it! 2014 is just around the corner and I will turn 50! I think 2014 will mean lots of changes in my life. Nothing will be like it has been. Well, a few things will stay the same of course but lots of the fluff around the real core of the life of me will change. Hopefully for the better. Today S and K came for a visit here in Collingwood. Really nice to see them and they are fun and social so all good. I miss friends like them in my immediate life. I spent 2 hours in the cross country woods of Duntroon today again. I was there yesterday as well. So relaxing even though I work hard. It is relaxing for your mind and great exercise for the body. Have to go, I don't feel the flow to write something worth writing tonight- sorry!

If I had only known....but actually, I think i did!

Big News on Christmas Day

It's coming to a close.... Dear Beaches Bakeshop & Cafe' friends, It is with sadness we would like to inform you that the doors of Beaches Bakeshop & Cafe' will close for good on January 30, 2014. It has been the greatest ride since we started 7 years ago! Swedish Cinnamon Buns and Quinoa Salads, who knew what that was? Semla Buns and Taste- Buddies, the list can go on and on. We could not have done this without you, our customers. Our loyal local community has been amazing as well as our Swedish community that sometimes drives for hours to get to Beaches Bakeshop. We will for sure miss you all but are also so very happy for the wonderful years we have had together!! Please come by and say Hi, the Swedish Cinnamon Buns will be there til the end as well as Quinoa Salads and Semla buns! Looking forward to see you during the month of January!! Sincerely, Anna & Rose What you read above is what I just posted on Beaches Bakeshop & Cafe's website. It feels a bit scary to say it out loud. We are closing the cafe'!I am almost a 100% convinced that it is the right decision. You can't be to confident and say that you are 100% sure it is the right thing to do but my gut feeling says it is right. That counts for a lot! The big question of course is -What do I do now? I think it will work out but until then it will be a few sleepless nights and worriesome thoughts.. On a more immediate note, It is Christmas Day after all! Christmas presents are overflowing on the floor in front of me and the girls will come running down the stairs any minute, I think. I am just wishing for a friction free and Happy atmosphere day. We have had some not so friction free days and moments lately. It is not fun!! To everyone out there, I wish you and yours the best Holiday and an even better New Year!!! Take really good care of yourself!

Lots of snow outside and it's sunday morning! Listening to an old episode of sommar i P1. If you are swedish and live abroad you should go back in time and listen to Linda Olsson's sommar from 2006. It is soooo good! Just go to www.sr.se and search for Linda Olsson. I have recommended it to so many people. The last person I recomended it to was Mrs I who came in to the cafe this week. We talked for about 5 minutes but I felt an instant connection. She is older, maybe 74. In those 5 minutes she told me among other things that she never really liked Toronto.....I think immigrants are slaves under the feeling of longing for another place. Does not matter where we live, we will always long for that other place and it is a good thing- most of the time. The other night I was very happy to be right here and now. Lots of good friends gathered here at our house for a casual Holiday mingle. Just women, everyone had a good time, I think and everyone brought yummy things I should have taken pictures of but I just took a picture of something I made!

Casual Holiday Mingle

Is it just me or does other people feel that it's much more fun to entertain than to go to other peoples party? I really like entertaining. What I like most is the fact that I obviously choose who's coming to the party! Tomorrow night I have a bout 20- 25 women coming over. THe house is far from spotless and I am not going crazy making things. People that asked if they could bring anything I told that sure please bring an appetizer or a dessert.It will be fun to mingle a little bit and have some

glogg, ginger snaps and blue cheese! I'll try to remember to take pictures tomorrow but here is one I just took now in the midst of preparations and just before going to bed. Just decided I'll do the rest tomorrow! Bootcamp at 5.30am is on the agenda first, then work and then HOLIDAY MINGLE!

Mr. Bo

Some people inspire me! I know an older man who always sees things from the bright side! He is also like a angel when he drives around to pick up all the other older men and women and brings them to my cafe for a traditional Thursday meal. Pea soup, Pancakes and Punch! We eat, sing and get along really well even though there is 80 years between the youngest guest and the oldest! I love real humans that realizes how little is needed to make someone's day soooo much brighter!! Bo said it very well " Anna, You know these men and women use to be big and strong, have lots of stuff on the go and now for one reason or the other, their lives are very small" This man needs to be recognized in some way and this is my way! I don't know if he will ever see this post. Maybe I'll tell him I wrote about him.

Little wonders and their symbolism

Just wanted to show you these little wonders! While I was cutting these it struck me the symbolism in these shapes. For me these particular shapes stands for mamma, sweden, friends who have horses, love, homesickness during this time of the year and a few more things. I have not spent christmas in Sweden since 1988! Crazy!!! It never seems like the right thing to do for some bizzare reason. I have usually been home during the summer or I am planning to go in the spring..This year I am going already in February. I am doing TJEJVASAN. It is very exciting. I am also bringing three friends from Toronto. I will talk more about that and how it came together in a later post. HAve a wonderful 2nd of Advent. Make sure to have fun!

Auntie Harriet's Gingersnaps

It's time to share the best gingersnap recipe. Please make a tradition of baking these little wonders at least once every year!

Auntie Harriet's Gingersnaps 300 gram butter 5 dl sugar 1 dl swedish dark syrup 2 dl water 1 msk ginger 2 msk cinnamon 1 msk cloves 2 tsk cardamom 1 msk baking soda 1,5 liter all purpose flour This is how you do it: 1. Mix sugar, butter and syrup until nice and fluffy 2. Add water, ground spices, baking soda and flour 3. Work the dough until well mixed and "even" The dough will be a bit "loose" 4. Let dough rest in fridge over night 5. Grab a small piece of dough and with a rolling pin, roll the dough out to 2-3mm thickness. 6. Bake cookies in the middle of oven, 4-5 minutes in 225*C. 7. Let cookies cool down before moving from baking sheet.

late night work....

Just sent off a proposal to people organizing clothing designer Filippa K's 20 anniversary here in Toronto. It will be celebrated at a furniture store and I hope to provide the food! Looking forward to it! It's time to go to bed now but I want to keep this blog thing up so here we go! Have to work in the morning. Construction is still going on so it is very hard to say if it's going to be busy or not. Hopefully busy! I am starting to get EXCITED about going to Sweden on Tuesday! J is excited as well, she is already packed!! I have a date next Friday with my all time favourite girlfriends in Malmö, FB is great for organizing. Within an hour everyone was confirmed to meet at 18.00 next Friday for dinner and lots of chatter!!! CAN'T WAIT!

This picture is from our 5th anniversary back in February! It was a great day! PJ and his band came and played. Can not believe it has been over 5 years since we opened! I still enjoy going there! Can't say I love slow days but when it's busy it's SOOO GREAT! If you are ever in Toronto please come by BEACHES BAKESHOP & CAFE'at 900 Kingston Road!

oh, yes I am still alive and well!

Over a year since I posted anything! It's middle of summer, I am going to Sweden in a week and my kids are getting big! Sigrid is up north working at a camp all summer! I MISS HER! Pippi is going to Vancouver, BC to play rugby. She made the Ontario team and will play Nationals out there. Very exciting but scary! Rugby is not for the weak!!

Beaches Bakeshop & Cafe' is still going strong. We have endured a massive road construction this summer but I feel very hopeful for the fall! I want to bring in new items and maybe update the shop a bit. A new coat of paint would be nice for example!

When in Sweden I will keep my eyes open for exciting stuff! I love Almedahls tea towels and Ekorrens Organic Candies! Two things I would like to see on the shelves at Beaches Bakeshop & Cafe'. Another passion of mine at the moment is Bikram Yoga! hence that I have to go to bed since class starts at 06.15! Namaste! http://www.almedahls.se/web/almedahls.aspx

Family Day! Another pressure filled day added to the calendar. Everyone else have the cosiest day together with their all in sync families. They all know what and how to celebrate this day in the best of ways! My family on the other hand woke up to a beautiful sunny day in a little hotel room in a small Ontario town. The reason is that this town provide skiing opportunity to southern ontarios millions of people. I wake up ready to attack this day in a energetic way, a snow shoe hike, a brunch at a well planned establishment that we are all excited to go to or just go for a long interactive hike. On this hike we would talk to each other and nobody would punch, teas or push. So, this did not happen of course. One daughter had a sleep over, another was impossible to wake up, she was snoring together with my husband that also decided that sleeping is way more important than being energetic. Luckily there is a third daughter who like me is energetic in the morning and wants to get going! We did some errands and picked up daughter from sleepover and stopped by Starbucks for husbands needs. Finally we are all together in the car all packed and ready to go. Too late to start skiing, no chance of convincing everyone that a snow shoe hike would be great. We start our drive home. Now we are hungry. Where to eat? Let's stop in the Italian Woodbridge north of Toronto for some "easy to find, great Italian spot". Marks wonderful idea sounds ok but the closer we get the more hungry everyone gets. I am loosing faith in this whole day!! Much better to just go to school and work than to be stuck with your family and forced to interact. Suddenly we pull in to a strip mall where there is a funeral going on and it feels like we are crashing a Sopranos episode. In the middle of limos, dark sunglasses and white shoes is exactly the place we have been looking for. Very authentic, great pizza and even better espresso and suddenly my family are experiencing that bliss of family cosiness i was looking for, while eating the best pizza in a very long time. After stuffing ourselves we find a perfect little hike in Edwards Garden. I feel great again even though the day started differently than I wanted it to.
Tomorrow we are back in reality and I know I will think back on this Family Day and think it was pretty good after all. It was our Family Day 2012!!

Saturday night and home alone at the kitchen counter with my iPad. Not that I want to do this every Saturday night but once in a while it is soo relaxing and cosy. I have been listening to lots of podcasts and music.
Earlier today was big Semla Saturday at Beaches Bakeshop & Cafe. It was pretty busy and a few swedes came by.
J, P, and M are up north this weekend. P raced today and did great. Tomorrow J is racing and I wish I was there. S is babysitting so that is the reason we didn't go to Collingwood. Went to my friend G's house to pick up a cook book she got me from Sweden. She went there for 2 weeks to "find back to herself". She was in big need and had a great time. G is a very good friend of mine. I am going to spend more time with friends like her this year. Ok, that's it for now! Have to read my new cookbook- cant stop myself! Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday, which doesn't matter much to me but I am making a chili because of that. I got inspired!!

Good thing I didn't sign up to do the 100 days of blogging!
Life goes on and I just forget to stop and write a few sentences to save my thoughts of the day for the afterworld. I have diaries from way back when I was 8-10 years old. I wrote almost daily until I was 30. Then kids started to come along and other things took over my writing time. Now, almost 20 years later, I am trying to find that time again and use it for what it was intended for.
I have had some great moments lately with my kids. P is learning to play guitar and I am soo impressed by how dedicated she is and that she is teaching herself. J is working hard on being as good as she wants to be in all areas. She runs, studies, is the inspiration of the school's volleyball team. She loves it all. S is working hard on her school. She has high hopes and I am sure will make some great choices and will reach her goals and hopes!
I, on the other hand, don't know what my goals are at the moment, more than I have to start to get this day off the ground! So, go on, have fun and do the right thing!

Short post since it is late and my bed has been calling my name for a while now. Why is it so hard to go to bed sometimes? I feel that there is so much I want to do and keep updated on and that takes time. Now and then when I hear someone say something I agree with or maybe not but it is interesting anyway or if a person is really funny in a great way I think- that person would be great to sit around the dinner table with. I always think I should write down who these people are, who would sit around my dream dinner party table? Today I heard Mark Levengood be interviewed on Swedish TV by Skavlan. I think I would like to have both Skavlan and Mark around my dream dinner party table. I also would want some of my girlfriends around that table. I will revisit this subject and maybe figure out what I would serve as well. As for tonight this is it- have to sleep!!

Friday evening and suddenly I am in Collingwood. We drove up today because daughter 2 and 3 have races in the morning. They are both racing at the club where daughter number 1 had her ski accident last season. Don't feel really comfortable with the whole thing! It is chilly out there but it is nice to be up here again. I worked really hard to get everything ready for the shop since I am not there tomorrow. Quiches, salads and cakes. Lots of special orders. Did I mention dish crawl? We were part of that this past Wednesday and it was a blast. 20 people divided into 2 groups visits 4 places in the course of 2 hours. We served soups , salad and sweets. We got tons of compliments both during the evening but also on twitter during and after. Lots of fun!! A great thing to do all around. Both for attracting new customers and also for us as business owners to get together and work towards a common thing. I'll try to post the link to the pics later. Now I have to go goodnight !!

Yesterday was another busy day. DishCrawl.TO visited us at Beaches Bakeshop & Cafe' It is a great concept where 20 people, sometimes more, sign up to go on a guided tour through a neighborhood's restaurants. In our case we were the only restaurant on the tour. Courage Food, Close to the bone and Art of cheese were the other places We had two groups of 10 plus the photographer and "leader". On our menu we had 2 soup shots - Mexican Bean Soup with Salsa on a stick and Carrot Ginger with a splash of Roasted Beet Root Soup. They both looked and tasted, I hope, fantastic. We also served 2 salads, Puy Lentil with Green Beans and Feta plus Roasted Butternut Squash with Red Rice. We served them on these amazing bamboo dishes and ate with the cutest bamboo forks. For sweets we had an assortment of Tradtional Swedish stuff of course. We also gave a little care package consisting of a mini Swedish Cinnamon bun and a mini Semla bun. Everyone had a great time and if you ever have a chance to check out DishCrawl in the city where you live - do it!! It's a great way to find new places and meet new people!! A perfect thing to do on a date for example!!
Enjoy the day!

People are trying to blog a 100 days in a row. I have not blogged in a million years.....don't know why I suddenly kind of feel some little need to express myself here again.
I am still a cafe' owner, mother of three girls and married to Mark. We have been busy with life. Past year included knee injuries and reconstructive surgery after ski racing accident- not fun!, finished our house renovation- very nice and lots of fun, spent 2 weeks in Stockholm last spring- loved it and would love to make it a tradition. Over the recent holiday we went to Austria. Spent 4 days in Salzburg and the rest in Bad Gastein. It was the best family vacation and exactly what we needed. I realized that I actually really like my kids. You know how you sometimes wonder what planet they just arrived from or how you possibly could be more unsuccessful in raising responsible people. Anyway, we are in a good place at the moment and I really am trying to suck in these times. I know very soon we will all be in different places and I will wonder if my girls are ok and if they are doing the right thing. I know I will be ready when the day come to say goodbye and have fun but for now I feel like I want to stop time for a while.