Turning things around to fit me!

Ok, time is flying by! 

Some things in my life seem constant. 

My girls are the best thing that ever happened to me! 

I love people!

I still want to spend the rest of my life with Lasse!

I love seasons even if now, in April, I want to move to constant sunny weather. How can it possibly be allowed to snow in April? 

Other things in life can feel constant because they have been happening for a long time, they have become a habit, you have it or you’re doing it just because that’s what has been going on for a while. 

Those things can instantly change from constant til maybe not for much longer or be over in a blink of an eye. 

That’s how I feel about what I have been spending most of my awaken time on for the past 12 years. My cafe. It’s crazy, but one email and a for sale sign on the building is making me think in terms of closing. I have played around with the thought for a few weeks now and I have even told a few friends and customers. Sometimes when I talk or think about these changes ahead I get very emotional. A customer yesterday gave me a big blank stare like he couldn’t really process what he had just heard me saying. 

When the news about the building, where the cafe is, came to my attention I felt beaten down. I thought, crap!! I have worked so hard for the past 12 years with this and then someone else is coming here and telling me that it’s over. If I think back on the past 1.5 years I feel like these situations repeat themselves. 

I can say that today I am super proud over how I usually handle things that is thrown at me. It is not hard for me to feel a bit down sometimes but I can feel exhilarated and happy as easy. Something that I perceive as bad news one day can the next day be treated as “good” news becuce I have had time to think about how I can look at it from a positive way. 

I am sure I will write more about this in the next few months. I don’t really know what the future holds for me but I am much more exited than worried so it’s  all a good thing!! 

How to live a healthy life

I have been thinking about my life on the spectrum of 

A Good & Healthy Life. 

I am really wondering what makes us happy people, healthy people and what do we need to to do in order to live long. The base is of course to be happy and I always throw in the word balance. The word BALANCE for me is what I can justify almost anything with. Just thinking balance it can let me eat that chocolate bar, take an extra portion or snag a cookie at 2 pm on a Wednesday. Almost every day I get faced with a big desicion of putting that treat, I soo crave, in my mouth. It is usually around 2 pm in the afternoon.   Some days I take a cup of tea instead but many days I just look around the cafe and something sweet is suddenly in my mouth. Am I a slave under the sugar craving. How bad is that? Back to that spectrum, I think it’s important to have good social interactions in daily life. I love that I say Hi to almost everyone who has businesses on our village “High Street”. Dry cleaner, butcher, cheese man, gift shop owner, book store owner, pharmacy owner, corner store, the accountant, wow I can go on and on. 

I remember growing up in the third largest city in Sweden. I think the population was around 100.000 back then. Anyway, my biggest memories from that time is that I felt I was “see through”. No one saw me. In the neighbourhood I lived we had a corner store and a larger grocery store. I often went there to buy something, it was never a case of saying Hi to the person behind the counter. Where I live and work today I almost always small talk to the kids in the neighbourhood that comes in for a Swedish cinnamon bun, chicken panini or a cheese quesadilla. 

I also think my life is full. I am almost prepared to say that I am living the life I want to live. I have grabbed the chance of starting a new relationship with a man I love with all my heart. I think that might be the most important factor of a healthy life. I don’t just think, I know! I have something to compare to. I was in a long marriage where it was very different and that, if anything, is not healthy. A bad relationship puts a damper on everything. It doesn’t matter how happy you are all around if your marriage/ relationship is not healthy. To have someone that loves every millimeter of you and who you love just as much is a very luxurious thing to have. I can’t believe it but I can honestly say, I have that!!! 

Just my average Monday

My Monday’s lately are great! Finally I have managed to consistently have Sunday and Monday off. Who knew having two days off in a row on a regular basis can do wonders to your wellbeing. People in the service industry and other industries rarely get 2 days off in a row. I have not had it since I opened the cafe 10 years ago! That was until 4 or so months ago, now I have been able to swing it and I leave be it. There is nothing like going to the gym and not be exhausted before starting your workout. Imagine getting your errands done during the day when other people are working!  

I wanted to post this picture. It is a salad I had several times when we were in Cape Town. It was so simple but so yummy! Strawberries, halloumi, avocado etc. I could eat this several times/ week on a regular basis. 

Daughter #2 was home this weekend. It was great to have her here. We sat around the dinner table long after we finished eating, just chatting. She was intrested in all the pictures we took in Cape Town and she seems really happy to hear our stories. 

. 

New Year and New in sooo many ways!

I don't even know how long ago it is since I wrote here last time. Blogging again is something I have thought about doing for a while. My life has changed drastically to the WAY BETTER in the past year or so. The relationship I was in when I started blogging I am no longer in. It came to an abrupt halt almost 1 1/2 year ago. As many other women before me and many women after me has and will, I experienced infidelity. I was "done" with the relationship and my emotions when it came to an abrupt halt was as much relief, being scared, happy, shocked as just filled with new in every cell of my body. I could not believe there was really a way out. I had not suffered that much. I had a good life but was spending it with someone who did not want to spend it with me and therefore I really did not want to spend it with him. Since that day I have started a relationship with a man I used to know back in 1983! We were boyfriend/ girlfriend for about 1 1/2 year. In 1983 I moved in to his apartment and I have always thought of L as a great guy! The biggest reason we broke up back then was that I wanted more adventure, I think. I am not telling the story of us right now, that is a different chapter.
There has obviously been ups and downs since I started my new life. In the beginning my girls for example were just on board with what ever I wanted to do. After a while this changed to them making me feel I was selfish. I was thorn...I am still thorn sometimes. It is hard to know what is the right thing to do or how is the right way to be.
I am trying every day to be the person I can stand up for and say Yes, I am accountable for my actions and for what I am saying! This blog is good for that reason as well. It's hard not to be accountable for your words when they are written here.

Moving to the suburb!

No, probably not! But this weekend I went for a visit and ended up checking out the most amazing grocery store. I walked in and there was a bread isle you would not believe, the fresh pasta section was endless, the COLD CUTS was nuts, they even had casing for making your own sausage. Right beside the casings was a huge overfilled fridge with whole ham legs. Like a raw prosciutto, you know! Does people take dry their own, I wonder?? THe store was even laid out in a way that did not annoy me! I am easily annoyed in grocery stores, just saying'! Back in 1997 when my second daughter was born and I had to bring a toddler (my oldest daughter) with me to buy groceries and diapers I realized that they had strategically placed diapers opposite the candy! I found the manager and complained! Anyway, the store in the suburb, this weekend was not like that! They wanted their customers to make good choices! They made it easier for the consumer to eat well! That is how it should be! The extra fluff, like clothes, home stuff and flowers was at the other end of the store and really easy to avoid. In my local grocery store I have to go through all the fluffy stuff to come to the heart of the store that has what I came for! I hope you know the #1 rule to grocery shopping!! NEVER BRING YOUR CART DOWN THE AISLE!! You will buy so mach more junk! If you just walk down the aisle you will only buy as much as you can carry! Please leave me your grocery store tips! Had to rant a bit! Have an amazing Day! Will also include some pictures from the store. Plus one of the best tasting chickens I have ever made! Lots of figs, garlic, cinnamon, celery, some cinnamon and cumin plus salt and pepper of course! A bit of red onion and some water! In the oven at 325*F for app 90 min or until thermometer shows 80*F! YUMMY!

Swedish food on a cold Saturday morning

It's fun to wake up on a Saturday morning to find this article! I love to spread my love of the Swedish way of eating! Which is really "my way of eating". Not always but it's definitely the fundamentals of my way of eating! Enjoy the article and stay warm! http://www.tryswedish.com/eat-like-a-swede/

Happy New Year, People! It's 2014! Crazzyyy! We had a very quiet New years eve! The family wasn't even all together! Not for any other reason that when you have a teen ager who REALLY wants to be with friends in the city and you have 2 other girls that are ski racing and needs to train- you split up and make them happy! Today was one of those wonderful days when I got lots done. Well, not that much but enough exercise, a nice visit with friends, dinner with 2 out of 3 daughters and felt pretty good about M. Here are some pictures from this marvellous day! Snowshoeing is almost as fulfilling as cross-country skiing. Check out these winter wonderland pictures! It was cold, -20*C or something! Now I am back in Toronto again and only few more days of vacation. Realized that I have not taken enough pictures this holiday! New Years resolution? I don't know? Laugh more, Anne said! Sounds like a good one! I'll go with that! Bye for now.